Personal Torments of a Key Puncher

As soon as she gets out of rehab.

2008-08-14T01:07:00.002-04:00

Sorry, any readers I have here, for not keeping this up to date. I finished the draft of Potemkin and am now on draft six (with no outside editorial support) and it's really shaped up to be the best work I've done yet. Then I started a stylized noir reinvention (what I think of as my Tarantino script because I'm using conventions of a genre while working with a non-genre story). I sort of abandoned that and started writing an incredibly dark comedy called Anhedonic (which means the inability to find happiness, the title setting the tone for the story). That script is pretty good and I'm enjoying it. There's something about making a viewer/reader squirm with your work that is very satisfying to me. I've also been researching hardcore for a triad of novellas. I don't want to say too much about that project (I really doubt it will ever see publication due to its subject matter) but it is ambitious and that excites me. It's historical fiction (think along the lines of LA Confidential in that the stories will be based in historical fact but use that as a backdrop for an original story).

I keep saying original more when I discuss my work. I've always been a quick study and have found it easier to tell my stories in the voice of other writers. I still enjoy that practice and defend it with the argument that almost no artists can live without outside inspiration and appreciation of other artists, so there's nothing wrong with borrowing another artist's style in some ways if the material is original. And oh boy, is my stuff getting more original. I've found a lot of what I do now is taking one kind of story and then finding a drastically alternate stylization to use as the voice of the narrative. It makes things interesting and keeps my prose in top form. I know that a lot of my early work borrowed style as well as themes from the same source, and I know that is counterproductive in an artistic sense. Now it's mix and match, experiment and reconstruction, all with the goal of producing new works. In this new fashion, I find myself becoming a more original artist.

The noir reinvention, I'm heavily borrowing from Nial's writing (which he says is fine because it's not truly his style), but putting my own perspective on it. Work is feeling more like my own and that is gratifying. Lately I have been wondering more if I will ever make a living as an artist. This becomes a natural train of thought as I get older; my work improves while my success is barely a glimmer. I have gotten more enthusiastic response to my work in the last year (helped a lot by my sharing the screenplays I have written), but that doesn't pay the bills. My day job barely pays the bills right now. Dreaming of being financially rewarded for my hard work is about all I can hope for at the moment. A meager living from the life of the mind would be dearly accepted and very satisfying to me. Someday.

You don't know this yet but you and I are going to be great friends.

2008-05-10T23:09:00.001-04:00

I finished the second draft of Potemkin at 1:15 PM. I think it holds up pretty well. Will be getting editorial input soon.

Why are we even talking about this? This is like way down the road.

2008-05-03T00:20:00.002-04:00

Have made considerable progress on Potemkin. I had hit a wall with the direction of the story. Really, it was just a couple transitional scenes that tripped me up. That happens often in my writing: There will be just a scene or two that moves the story to its conclusion but I feel completely flustered trying to get the scene out. I've gotten better at it and that's another kind of growth as a writer. I usually think of my improvement in terms of how well I capture characters, how many new elements I can add, if there's a good reveal and foreshadowing, etc. But there's also this improvement: Finding it easier to get through tough scenes when I write.

I hope to finish the script this weekend (in between working, I'm doing two shifts of 12 hours each) and feel like I can actually get there now. There's one thing that's nagging me but I think I can pull it off anyway. As all writers know: There's always rewrites.

I've always found that writing comes from a great inner pain.

2008-04-26T20:33:00.002-04:00

Since I finished a script, that means the immediate commencement of a new one. It's tentatively titled An Ounce of Lead and is a hard-boiled pulp detective story involving the supernatural. I'm kind of stealing my friend Nial's style for this one but it's a hell of a lot of fun to write and the style translates to the big screen perfectly. I can't really relate it to any other projects I've done before or even seen others do, it's a big mix of many influences. But, also, strikingly well-formed from the beginning. It feels like visionary storytelling to me and I'm having lots of fun writing it.

And that is what we struggle still to heal.

2008-04-25T20:18:00.003-04:00

Just finished the first draft of Influences of the Gloaming. I'm very satisfied with it but have a feeling the editors will bloody it up a bit. But that's good. Art needs feedback to reach perfection in most cases. I think this is a very nice and interesting story and I think people will have a new respect for me as a writer after they see it. It's funny that I started this over a year ago and just let it sit idle for so long. I really liked the first couple acts and wasn't quite sure how I could resolve these character arcs and plot points. I think it came to a fairly organic and touching conclusion. I've sent it off to some friends to see what they think and am eagerly awaiting responses.

What goes on here is sometimes like taking a shit.

2008-04-18T01:24:00.003-04:00

Am nearing the end of Potemkin. The third act is holding together better than I expected and I'm feeling infinitely more confident in the work. I still need to connect a few of the threads to really make the piece hold together, but I haven't screwed it up yet and that's a big relief. I'm a bit wordy in my writing, unfortunately. That's been a big problem in my screenwriting. In novels, even minimalist, you can circle the point several times. Screenwriting is supposed to be blunt and concise. I think I do good work with symbolism in my stories.

*Possible spoiler*

For example, in Potemkin, the female news anchor is pursuing a course that causes her damage. To foreshadow this, I gave her trichotillomannia, a condition in which a person habitually rips out their own hair. I like the idea that she's created this facade and may destroy it by her ambition; thus it makes sense that she would be destroying the facade subconsciously.

*End possible spoiler*

Anyway, it's been a really great night for my writing. I think I'm finding my feet in screenwriting (perhaps two years after I should have, heh) and am excited to finish this, do rewrites on various scripts, and then move to my next one.

When I'm feeling desperate again.

2008-04-16T02:08:00.002-04:00

Am closing in on the end of Potemkin. Wrote about 30 pages this week. I'm in a difficult place now. I am adept at setting up plots and defining characters, but I tend to unravel in the third act. I start to rush the plot points, hammer the themes home a bit too hard. It's frustrating to have this on my shoulders and see myself just getting a rough outline down. I hate when I'm working on something I really like and then I get to that point where everything I put down is with the thought "I'll rewrite this later with help from an editor." I'm not going to say I'm too proud as an artist to ask for outside opinions on my work. But it is demoralizing to know that I do need help to elevate my craft. I wonder how many artists deal with this.

Ah. Now this place is a home.

2008-03-29T01:08:00.004-04:00

Have not touched Potemkin. Am working hard on a rewrite of Big Ideas and have plans after that to add another storyline to In the Heart or the Head. I work about 70 hours a week and still sleep like ten hours a night. Needless to say, I have very little free time. But, as my day job is data entry, my mind is often free to roam and formulate plots. I realize now how much I've refined my craft. I'm also much more open to criticism and finding new ways to tell the stories in my head. Have I mentioned before that I rarely know the end before I start a project? This seems to be pretty common for writers. It can lead to scattered, illogical stories. It can also lead to very organic story arcs. Story arcs. The skeletons of the craft. Art is like the meat industry: If you saw how it was made, you wouldn't want to eat it.

I traced the tattoo on the back of your neck. There's a picture drawn there of the place you left.

2008-03-14T15:43:00.002-04:00

Have been working in fits on Potemkin. I work twelve hour shifts nearly every day so it's hard to find the time to work on it. Is this what my life has become? Squeezing in a half hour or so a week to write ten pages? Oh no. This is what being an adult is. I thought I'd never find myself in this position. But I'll finish it and I'll sell it and then I can just write whenever I want.

Despite a driving rain.

2008-02-27T17:50:00.001-05:00

I have started a new screenplay called Potemkin. It is a satire about a news program and politics and a war and such. I love it so far, I've really stepped up my game. Only about 10 pages done so far but I think it will only get better.

Your impersonation of my mother is getting better and better.

2008-02-09T22:49:00.000-05:00

Have been writing more. Not much to say other than I'm enjoying it. I do feel I'm getting back into novel-writing mode. So that helps a lot. I don't know, I guess you'll just have to wait and see (as I do).

I've never seen anything so reasonable.

2008-01-28T02:18:00.000-05:00

I have started my first book in over two years. Which is odd in itself, but also odd because of the subject I chose to write about. This book will be a three-story comedy about the holocaust. Yes, I am that terrible. Anyway, I've already written eleven pages of the first story and am moving faster now that I'm getting back in the groove of long fiction. Writing screenplays just about ruined me for novels. But I am sure I can get back on my feet with this work. I really want to focus on novels again for now. Screenwriting is a great adventure but the odds are often stacked against me. My goal is to excel in every format of the medium. I'll get there.

In the Heart or the Head.

2008-01-25T14:11:00.000-05:00

First act of my script In the Heart or the Head has been added to my website. This completes my seven day frenzy. Thanks to everyone who has read my work and sent kind words, I really appreciate it.

In the Heart or the Head

Squalor.

2008-01-24T13:48:00.001-05:00

My much-discussed western, Squalor, has been posted on my website. Read it here:

Squalor

One more to go and then I am caught up on the many scripts I have written over the last year.

The Substance of Angels.

2008-01-23T15:57:00.001-05:00

The first act of my Magnolia, The Substance of Angels, has been posted. Read it here:

The Substance of Angels

And, again, feel free to email me if you'd like to read more of these scripts. They are all registered with the WGA.

Influences of the Gloaming.

2008-01-22T16:03:00.000-05:00

First act of my screenplay Influences of the Gloaming has been posted. Read it here:

Influences of the Gloaming

Forgetting the Dead

2008-01-21T12:49:00.000-05:00

I posted the first act of my slightly comedic thriller Forgetting the Dead. Read it here:

Forgetting the Dead

In the Twilight

2008-01-20T18:24:00.000-05:00

The second of seven screenplays in seven days (first act, anyway) has been posted:

In the Twilight

The posting will continue daily, so please come back to read more.

Crows in a Murder

2008-01-19T21:56:00.000-05:00

Well, you've been reading about the process of writing screenplays over the last year and a half or so. Think it's about time to see some of the product? I will be uploading the first act of seven screenplays on my website for the next week (one per day). The first one up is my contemporary noir Crows in a Murder:

Crows in a Murder

All of these scripts have been registered with the WGA so I fear no thievery. If you are interested in reading full scripts, particularly if you are in the industry, please email me: josh@beautifuldreamscompany.net

The first 27 contests.

2008-01-03T00:32:00.000-05:00

When I started writing, I would sprint through a project and then quickly move to the next. What I've discovered now is that I'm never really finished with one. Yes, I became one of THOSE artists. And it's not that my work isn't good enough, it's just that I grow as an artist with each project and in retrospect can see all the ways to improve my previous work. Luckily I'm not locked into any production of my scripts yet. There is a lot of revising and rewriting to do. There's so much, in fact, that I almost don't know where to start. (As an aside, this may be an aspect of my ADD. When presented with numerous tasks to complete, an ADD person often can't figure out which to start first and turns their attention elsewhere. Odd fact, huh?) I have started a new script that is a very black comedy with some serious overtones. I have come to question myself as a writer. It was mostly in response to a critique of my script In the Heart or the Head. It was a fairly positive review and the criticism was useful, but one point has really stuck with me: I was asked what the point of my script was.

The story is about an aspiring writer consumed with grief over a failed relationship caused by madness in the 9/11 world. This is, obviously, very much like my own experience, though far from one of those lame "change the names and tell my life story as a script" projects that most people produce (usually on their first attempt at writing). Esteban is a schizophrenic who can not tell what is and is not real. There are technical details to work out, such as how to delineate the real and the unreal (though part of the charm of the script, and even an intrinsic lynch-pin of the finale, is that you can not tell much more than Esteban can). But mostly it was that point: What is the point of the script?

And this bothered me for several days, even with the positive review and the useful notes for the rewrite. But today I had a laugh about it. I thought about some of my favorite movies. Miller's Crossing. Quiz Show. Unforgiven. Memento. Shakespeare in Love. The Science of Sleep. Goodfellas. What is the point of those movies? You know what? Not much. They are great stories that are engaging and so damn interesting and well-made. But do they have a real point? Do you walk away from it like Schindler's List? No, not at all. And these are among my favorite films. Isn't the point of a movie to entertain you? Maybe my work doesn't have to have a point if I don't want to. Sure, this particular script is very much about madness and grief and sorrow and loss and failed ambition. But is that enough? Hell yes it is.

And so the stinging rebuke of that question fades away. No, I don't want to be the most important screenwriter of all time. I want to make my point when I want to and I want to entertain in every script. I would love a career like the Coen brothers or Charlie Kaufman or Tarantino. I would love to write art movies that happen to have big crossover appeal. And I think I can do that. If not, I'll at least be in a comfortable niche in the indie world. I'm true to my muse. And if the reader that offered me notes expects every movie to be A Beautiful Mind, then Hollywood will continue to miss out on the true spirit of good art. (I quite like A Beautiful Mind by the way, but it is a very Hollywood movie and I'm just using it as an example rather than attacking it.)

So I will continue to split my time between working on new scripts and revising drafts that I thought I had finished. I've grown. I feel the power I have in my mind now, the connections I make in my head, the new tricks I have learned. I can always be a better writer and maybe that is what makes artists say their work is never finished. I think Warhol was an artist that felt he had finished when he walked away from the project. He strikes me as the type. I like that type. I'd like to be it. But then, I'd have to create a self-fulfilling sense of perfection within just a few drafts. And I'm not at that point yet. Maybe Aaron Sorkin can. And good for him. He's lucky. I've entered a new phase as an artist: Not uncertain of my production but less than pleased with it down the line. Yes, I became one of THOSE.

That's the furthest yet.

2007-12-20T02:05:00.000-05:00

My western, Squalor, is finalized, registered, and entered in a contest already. Expect to see some of it appearing on my website soon, as well as some others I have written this year.

Done.

2007-12-12T19:31:00.000-05:00

Finished the first draft of my western, Squalor, at 7:21 PM.

Everything's coming up pale.

2007-12-09T23:04:00.001-05:00

Closing in on the end of the western already. Hey, you did know I write very quickly, didn't you? I'm at page 80 right now and expect to have another thirty pages to go. At my current rate, it will be finished by Wednesday. It's turning out better than I'd expected.

Hi. How's work?

2007-12-05T16:21:00.001-05:00

I'm about fifty pages into my western when I suddenly figured out what it is. It is actually a classic noir prototype set in the American old west. I've ironed out a lot of the story details and I think the characters are developing nicely. This may be my most singular work yet. I'm really getting a creative buzz off this script.

Eat-ee him yourself, you leery heathen.

2007-12-04T00:38:00.000-05:00

Well, as if my artistic drive wasn't unusual enough, I have decided after only 50 pages of Influence of the Gloaming, that I should put more on my plate. And, as almost none of my work is conventional, I felt that I was at a bit of a dead end with what I normally do. I am naturally inclined to break my own mold. So I've started another screenplay and it is *get ready for it* a WESTERN. Yes, I am writing a freaking western. I'm as shocked as anyone else. It is a complex multi-character drama with quite a bit of action but more talking. It is not in the desert but rather displays the large grazing lands of Wyoming territory in 1885. If there is a corollary to other screenplays, I would liken it to Shakespeare in Love in the sense that it is a more modern approach to a tale set in the past. Aside from that, all I can say is that I'm doing something quite different for a western. And I enjoy it.

(As an aside, I think Burroughs once wrote a western in his cut-up technique. I'll have to search that out, I'm sure it's unusual and full of inspiration.)

"Would you hurt me, John" I just don't know.

2007-11-30T22:10:00.001-05:00

Have started work on my 11th screenplay, entitled "Influences of the Gloaming." It's an oddly comedic tragedy with my patented off-kilter approach to the story. I've written over 25 pages and I think it has my strongest and most interesting characters yet. It took a while to get over the vastness of my previous work. It was an outlet for me but it also consumed a large part of me. It was a literary exorcism and I am a changed person. Luckily, I've learned that I don't have to make every project my magnum opus.

My brother has changed his major. He will no longer get a film degree but will rather become a secondary school social sciences teacher. I actually respect the decision a lot because in the art world, a degree does very little to get you where you want to be. I will hold some scripts for him to direct and I think that's the best way I can help him achieve his goals at this point. Also, if he's interested, I can write some short films for him to shoot in his off-time so that he can put a reel together and enter festivals.

I have been performing my poetry. That's going pretty well. I'm still nervous as hell up there reading it, but it's getting easier. Panic syndrome redefines what you can do with your life. I am trying to break the patterns of fear that have imprisoned me.

I took over the 5th episode of the series Nial and I are working on. He simply didn't have the time to complete it between his work schedule, school schedule, and other projects he wanted to work on. The final episode of season one is already outlined and I just have to write it out. Then we can approach the BBC with it. We also have much of the second season's story points mapped out. I think this is a great project and I'm glad to be working on it, especially with Nial. He is a fantastic writer. He was once my protege but now I feel that I am learning from him. Our writing process actually complements each other, so it's been a very good thing.

I've also been doing some design work for a friend that is self-publishing a dissertation on TS Eliot's The Wasteland.

In the Heart or the Head

2007-11-10T23:15:00.001-05:00

I completed the first draft of In the Heart or the Head at 11 PM. I'm very pleased with it.

The coup of the story.

2007-10-28T02:13:00.000-04:00

I started a new screenplay called In the Heart or the Head. It is fairly abstract but also surprisingly lucid for being so dreamlike. It's about a schizophrenic aspiring writer that is in love with four women but can't tell if they're real or delusional. There's a bit of comedy in it, though very unorthodox. I've finished the first two acts so far, close to fifty pages already. Tonight I was at a friend's Halloween party and (being the social retard I am) spent most of the time in a corner with my own thoughts. And that is when I discovered the coup of the story. I knew that there was a resolution in this script somewhere, that it wasn't all just jumbled scenes and real-or-unreal? sequences. There is definitely something a lot deeper here. And now the story begins to turn to a nightmare. The lead is a haunted figure, driven by forces he barely understands, only able to relate to people through the fact that we are all human together. Aside from that, he's practically Travis Bickle with big dreams of conquering the literary world. I've invested a lot of myself in this work and it is my most personal yet. The ending became apparent as I worked over the plot in my head tonight, and now seems like the obvious conclusion. I did it. I found the way to make this the best thing I have ever written. It is the kind of script that will dazzle an audience and take them on a true voyage. It is everything good screenwriting is supposed to be. And I'm so pleased that I get to work on it.

Then I refuse!

2007-10-18T22:44:00.000-04:00

I finished the first draft of Crows in a Murder. Some parts are a bit creaky but I'm sure I can iron things out in the next draft. Pretty pleased with it, it's quite an unusual noir. Still working on Breathing Holes. And I have a couple other screenplay ideas kicking around. I may start one of them soon.

The line-item veto is unconstitutional.

2007-10-09T21:22:00.001-04:00

Revived the adaptation of my first novel, Breathing Holes. The book is similar to Fight Club and was also written very much like the prose of Fight Club. I did have my own twist on the story and am proud of it (especially considering that it was my first novel), but the adaptation was a disaster. Then I had some kind of magical moment where I realized exactly how to change it and approach it and make it something different. So I've been doing that and have finished over 20 pages already. I'm still a bit lax with the structure of my screenplays, but I only deviate from the "rules" of screenwriting by a two or three pages here and there. So I think that's okay.

This version of Breathing Holes is set mostly in an office and actually is a lot like The Office (need to distance myself a bit more from that). Honestly, it is so hard to write something unique anymore. And I'm not the least bit embarrassed to wear my influences on my sleeve with each piece. I read a collection of Bukowski's first short stories and it was almost exactly like the early William S. Burroughs. Art is very much about finding other people's work and incorporating it into who you are and responding to them in your own way. I think I can be unique in several ways and I always strive for that. I rarely do something like lift scenes (I mean, that's plagiarism if it's not intended as satire or a reference), but I definitely capture the spirit and tone of other works. My script Big Ideas is about an ambitious young man who assembles a motley crew of unreliable associates with the intention of being an international drug smuggler. But, in tone and spirit, it is like the work of Wes Anderson. Which I love. Hell, Wes was paying homage to JD Salinger with The Royal Tenenbaums.

This adaptation of Breathing Holes, which has turned from dark satire to off-beat comedy, is actually the start of a trilogy. My next script will be an adaptation of my novel War Room Rules, which mostly is set in an office and is all about office politics. Then I will round out the trilogy with A Warm Place in the Field, something I won't give any details on just yet.

It feels good to have a creative spurt again. It was very difficult to go through a few weeks where I couldn't do anything right and no ideas were coming. I'm back, at least for now. But I sure could use a good day job right now.

A lack of oxygen from my life support, my iron lung.

2007-10-01T17:32:00.000-04:00

Okay, having figured out the final direction I want to go with in this script, I now have to go back through the whole thing and rearrange and rewrite and add and subtract and so forth. But now I know exactly what I'm doing here and that's something. But, at the moment, I really need to step away from it and figure it out later because my brain is just fried. On all fronts. I don't think there is any medium I can work competently in at the moment. This is your brain on a creative collapse.

Wait a minute, I know where we're going.

2007-09-18T18:10:00.000-04:00

My first screenplay, Separate, was eliminated in the second round of the screenwriting competition I entered it in. So goes the world. Still painting. Now working on a portrait of Bob Dylan. Also still writing the contemporary noir.

Just like a playboy.

2007-09-15T10:05:00.000-04:00

I haven't done much writing of late as I have been focusing my efforts on painting. I haven't done much traditional painting before so there's a lot of trial and error in this effort. It's purposely primitive painting, probably along the lines of abstract expressionism (though far from Pollock). It's partly in code and looks, more or less, like the artwork of a second grader. But, like I said, I want it to look like that. I'm enjoying it a lot but it's also frustrating to have to wait an hour or two for paint to dry before I can add the next layer. And I'm still trying new techniques and ideas. I'm not sure what will come of this but it's fun and is making me feel better.

Did do a bit more writing on the modern noir I'm writing. It's coming along okay and I'm deviating from the outline a bit but for good reason. I think there are some things I need to remedy in the way I'm telling the story but, all in all, it's going good. I can't see this as anything but an indie script because I don't think it would appeal to a large audience. But hey, we need nice indie flicks too, right?

Erase me.

2007-09-07T10:19:00.000-04:00

So I finished the first draft of In the Twilight on Wednesday. I may need to add a few more scenes because it's only like 83 pages right now and that's short even for a movie. But it's a good script, I think, much more mature. It appeals to an older audience than my previous work and I like that aspect of it a lot. I'll do some editing and maybe add another scene or two. I stayed true to my original vision so I feel good about that.

Right now I'm hard at work on a modern noir set in a high school (think a current Chinatown in a high school). It's proving to be a lot of fun and the story is complicated and twists a lot. Characters are pretty fun and interesting. The murder mystery is mixed with some madness as the lead character goes off his meds at the urging of the dead girl's ghost in his dreams. So it's a bit different, as I am always prone to write something a little far from the center of the mainstream. But I think this could be a great indie flick. I'll keep you updated.

He's being positive and I appreciate it.

2007-09-05T10:55:00.000-04:00

Some good news in my writing life, minor as it may be:

I am a finalist in the Filmmakers.com International Screenwriting Competition. Just the first round so far but I have some confidence I'll do well in this. I submitted my first screenplay, Separate. I had a look over my fellow first-rounders and it made me even more confident merely because the majority of script titles sound like bad fan fic. Anyway, I will keep you updated, the next elimination round will be announced on the 17th of this month.

You're my best friend.

2007-08-23T20:16:00.000-04:00

I started writing In the Twilight. I'm about 40 pages in already. I have most of it mapped out in my mind. It is a mature story, my first movie that's really for an older crowd. I think it's beautiful. I'm very proud of it. I think it is my best work yet. And it will prove my dexterity as a writer. I think this script is a big turning point for me. And the words are just flowing. There's depth and great characters. It's character-dominated for the most part. Again, I'm very, very proud of this work. I almost feel like my previous work is obsolete. I will always be proud of the things I write but this one is taking me to a new level. I really can't wait to see this onscreen.

What got broken here doesn't go back together.

2007-08-22T05:41:00.000-04:00

I finalized and registered the draft of my last screenplay, Big Ideas. It's about an ambitious young suburbanite that comes out of college with an intense desire to get rich quick. With some help from a local millionaire he's attached himself to, he sets forth to Colombia to find a supplier of cocaine so that his little group can become international drug smugglers. It's a quirky, off beat comedic drama with a very understated sense of humor. There are large elements of Wes Anderson and the Coen brothers' techniques in the script. Also, as a stylistic choice, all the music in it is from the 50s, which was sort of my way of showing that this young man is following the classic American dream in some sense (the 50s, of course, being the gold standard of longing for a better time, when things were easier and made more sense). I think it's the best script I've completed yet. I entered it in a competition and I guess we'll just see what happens. Personally, it's my favorite I've done yet. I wrote 90 pages in six days and then tonight I edited and revised, as well as adding about 12 pages. So it's right on target for a comedy, length-wise.

I am thinking about shelving my current script for a bit and do a more dramatic one. The one I've started is a very dark comedy about a rock musician that grows a conscience and the murderous intentions of his band's manager. The other ones I'm considering right now are pure drama:

Influences of the Gloaming, about a group of parents struggling to cope with the aftermath of a disaster that strikes their children and reveals the serious flaws in their lives and relationships.

In the Twilight, about a former president and first lady struggling to cope with a sedate existence after decades in the spotlight.

I'm really excited about both of these projects and am very much looking forward to things to come. I find out where I place with my first script, Separate, in competition on the 31st of this month. I'll be sure to let everyone know the results. (Particularly if I'm in the top ten, as I'll likely be shouting that from the rooftops.)

And one's pointing his tree branch at me.

2007-08-17T07:57:00.000-04:00

I don't think it's a good sign that I want to do major rewrites only sixty pages in. It's so necessary though. I need to establish factions, identity, and the major themes of the piece. I was quite neglectful in doing this very necessary work as I sprinted to 60.

Blackholes and revelations.

2007-08-11T16:30:00.000-04:00

The new script is progressing quickly. Feeling unsure about it. I think the structure may have flaws. I seem to be sprinting through it just to finish it with the idea that I'll figure it all out in rewrites. But I like a lot of aspects of it and there's some solid stuff to work with. The key word on this script is foreshadowing.

Pete Loves Jezebel

2007-08-06T19:13:00.001-04:00

A new screenplay has begun. This is another comedy with dramatic moments. I expect to be done with it within two months (and probably sooner).

Reuben?

2007-08-03T16:42:00.000-04:00

I finished the first draft of my dramatic comedy In For a Penny at 4:40 PM EST.

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't miss it.

2007-07-29T02:57:00.000-04:00

I started a new screenplay today. I just can't stop writing. Someday I'll burn out and have to disconnect from it for a bit. But now I'm writing like crazy. I did 32 pages today. This one is a comedy and it's been a lot of fun to work on so far. The structure is actually working very nicely, I think. I'll keep you updated.

Live your life.

2007-07-27T19:46:00.000-04:00

The first draft of The Substance of Angels was completed at 7:40 PM EST. It's like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This is beautiful, I think. Just beautiful. And painful. There's a lot of beauty in pain. Learning that and accepting it is an important part of life. And that's what this script is about.

Is this what you want?

2007-07-25T16:18:00.000-04:00

If you've never created anything before, you don't know what this feels like. If you have, you know what a manic episode is like. I only know of two ways to simulate a manic episode: To stay up for more than 40 hours straight and to write at least ten good pages in one day. I slept well last night but I've done 13 pages today. Manic is happy, though irrational.

I have the plot figured out. I've set everything up for the ending. I'm doing some of the best writing of my life. And I'm so proud of what I've done with this script so far.

That's why I'm confident I'll ultimately be successful in television.

2007-07-15T19:39:00.000-04:00

Wrote 27 pages today. This new project I'm working on is a sprawling (somewhat) mess of a beast. I plan it to clock in around 150 pages (which is two and a half hours in movie time). I'm doing some unusual things with it. It was originally going to be a novel but I've moved away from writing novels in large part because I think I can make it into the film world. I may go back to novels sometime, but that's for later. This script is, itself, a novel in many ways. I'm devoting a lot of time to character development. There are surprises you won't be expecting. There are also tangents I run off on. There are things still unresolved in my mind.

If I complete this thing, I'll be surprised if the first draft holds up. I've got a rather loose outline and I haven't really figured out some of the important parts of it. I've been working on it for about three weeks now and am up to about page 70. So I'm almost at the halfway point. I'm not using a standard story structure and that may work against me. But then, this is such a different movie on every level, I'm not sure I can sell this unless I've gotten a lot of critical respect. So that's fine. I don't mind writing things that may never get out to the world. My last screenplay, The Golem of Hollywood, was the most difficult thing I've ever written. Mostly because it was a pure comedy. But, damn it, it had some really funny parts in it. If there's an rewriting necessary (which I'll argue there is), it's plot-related. I'll get it all fixed up and feed it off to the movie industry soon enough. I also still need to enter The Center Point in a contest. But that script also needs a couple more scenes added to it. I should have been a man and done it while I was writing, but I didn't have faith in myself to do it properly.

I know from the outside, this probably doesn't make sense. But this is really for me to keep track of my own progress when I look back a year or two down the road. I consider myself a success because I have outdone my previous work with each new outing. And that should be the goal. Material success isn't worth much if you're not improving (I'm sure Chuck Palahniuk serves as a good example of this).

Welcome back.

2007-07-13T13:38:00.000-04:00

Well, Nial's little website (which was the host for this blog for about a year) is imploding so I am back here writing about writing. Welcome back to anyone that missed me here. Right now I am adapting my first novel to a screenplay; working on an ambitious, sprawling original screenplay; and continuing work on the tv series Nial and I are collaborating on. I swear I'll post more soon.

No one's ever gonna make it there yet.

2006-11-08T00:56:00.000-05:00

This blog is being transfered to Nial's website. You can find the new home at:

http://www.perforated-art.com/blog_view.php?u=joshcampbell

Everyone should go because you like hearing about writing, yes?

For Xmas, yes?

2006-11-04T16:23:00.000-05:00

Just in time for the holiday season, here is a sexy calendar from the Beautiful Dreams Company:

http://www.cafepress.com/bdcstore.84603481

And new presentation, featuring these images, is here.

Some reviews.

2006-11-01T20:05:00.000-05:00

Posted some reviews on Epinions (with more to come)

Where Burroughs Met Kubrick in which I analyze Naked Lunch by lining it up against Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey

To Never Erase All the "Fuck Yous", a review of Salinger's Catcher in the Rye

Quit acting like a sheep.

2006-10-29T00:59:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to drop a little note to say that posts may be lighter than usual around here for a few weeks. I'm feverishly working on my best Photoshop work yet with the intention of putting together a calendar for the next year that people may want to buy. I'm very happy with the work I'm doing and hope everyone else will like it too. But, as that's taking up most of my time, I probably won't touch the screenplay until I'm done. Oh, and for the record:

I ended up doing 28 pages that first day and am up to 43 now. It's moving along nicely though I may have to compress the arc of the first act for flow and time constraints. But I'm more pleased with it than I've ever been with a script before so it's all good.

What he said took everyone by surprise.

2006-10-22T15:54:00.000-04:00

I made it only five days without a script to work on. I'm fifteen pages into my fourth screenplay now and I think it's the best work I've done yet. Great characters, interesting dialogue, great message and story, good interaction. Everything is meshing very well already and I think it will be a very remarkable work. This is my Oscar script.

Done.

2006-10-18T01:05:00.000-04:00

I finished the first draft. Now I'm going to rest my brain.

Born in crowded cities.

2006-10-14T20:28:00.000-04:00

I added the first act of Separate and the first two of Collecting the Corners in a new section on my website. When I finish my current one (The Center Point) and get it protected, I will post some of that to be read too. You can read these at:

Beautiful Dreams Company

I've been waiting far too long.

2006-10-12T22:04:00.000-04:00

After you've written 20 pages in one day, I think all you can really say honestly is:

I've earned a break.*

*May not be applicable if you're under a deadline. The rest of the time: So fucking true.

They found out that wasn't true by a long shot.

2006-10-07T00:19:00.000-04:00

Ten pages today. Feeling worn out on it, but I know where I'm going now. Got a book on forensics techniques and how they catch killers, that has fueled my imagination again. This is an incredibly dense and complex script and I feel like I'm juggling a lot of stories at once in it. But it's going well and I know what I'm doing, I think.

It feels great to be writing again.

Okay, just tell her the truth.

2006-10-01T15:29:00.000-04:00

A friend asked me to critique a six page play she is entering in a local competition. She posted it on a Myspace blog and asked everyone for input, then she emailed it to me. Of course, I saw it on her blog before I got the email, so I critiqued it there.

To be clear, I was incredibly kind with my critique, a habit I've learned after hurting several fellow aspiring writers with harsh criticism. No, don't expect to hear me say something like "This is just terrible", it's not my style. I was fairly brutal with her, but it was all constructive criticism. Among other things, I pointed out that the narrator's monologues had no hooks (just like pop music, a narrative needs a hook to be a hit) which is a serious problem that most aspiring writers can't seem to master: You absolutely have to have those moments when your work feels cathartic and perceptive (for example, think Fight Club: This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.) On top of that, there was a lot of exposition in the characters' dialogue, a serious no-no when you have a narrator to serve this purpose.

I also pointed out a couple of things I really liked in the play, things I thought she had done particularly well. It wasn't bad, I'll give her that. It was much better than you'd expect from a six page piece. But still, there were several issues that needed to be ironed out and I told her so. My common critique is rarely in the vein of "I'd do it this way", it's more like "This technique is wrong, so you should work on that". The purpose of a critique is to get someone else's perspective and, as a writer, I think when someone asks for my perspective it is with the intention of bettering the work.

She messaged me again while I slept to say that it was poor form on my part and she was unimpressed with my action and then said "My fault for posting it on Myspace." Naturally, I'm a bit upset at this reaction. I devoted time to reading and putting thoughts together with the intention of making her work better and she is bothered that I commented on it in a public forum. Is she unaware that she is entering a competition? A competition, in case you've never entered one, is not exactly kind to the writers that aren't at the top of their form. They don't reward writers for being interesting and having potential.

On top of that, how the hell does she expect to be a writer when she can't even take an editorial-type criticism? I said absolutely nothing that could be construed as flippant or personally abusive, I merely pointed out things that should be improved for a better result. I've been writing for almost seven years now and I've been skewered by criticism, baselessly attacked, honestly helped, and completely ass-kissed over my work. I tend to take all of it with a grain of salt, especially positive responses. The goal is to be the best writer I can be and people parroting "Oh you're so great" endlessly will not accomplish that goal. I'm lucky in that I have an internal compass that keeps me moving towards greater things and rarely takes me off the path of doing my best. I appreciate when people enjoy my work, but I know that's about as valuable to me as people that respond with intense hate for no clear reason.

Writing is a cerebral pursuit and, as such, is picked apart mercilessly by others. It's because it is a high concept field, it's not like writing a pop song. People aren't going to dissect the deep meanings of a Brittney Spears song, but they will definitely try to decode every word of a serious work by a writer. And there are techniques to be used in writing because stories have a flow to them, they have identifying characteristics that build frameworks in the genre. In other words, a tragedy has the same basic maneuvers in the classic Greek form as in Shakespeare and as in Arthur Miller. Stories can vary wildly, but the framework is the same. You have to be ready, as an artist, to be studied and analyzed, to be picked apart. Getting a healthy dose of constructive criticism is about the best you can hope for. If you can't separate yourself from your work enough to take criticism and use it to improve, you have no business attempting a career in writing. You'll simply never survive it.

Yes.

2006-09-28T01:41:00.000-04:00

Trying to take a vacation from the screenplay. Expect no posting the rest of the week.

Holy shit.

2006-09-27T00:01:00.000-04:00

When you get it, you get it. I got it. Let's see if you get it in a few years.

Nice progress, huh?

2006-09-26T21:22:00.000-04:00

Writing a lot but not talking about it. Sorry, sometimes I prefer to keep things to myself.

Figuring out time travel for fun.

2006-09-19T22:02:00.000-04:00

A stunning realization today in the midst of my working over the story in my mind. (I can assure you, when I'm working on something, if I'm awake then I am working it over in my mind.) The main storyline I had planned was flimsy, half-formed, lacking a proper resolution, and not entirely coherent. I was, in a sense, sailing into dark waters with a weak vessel. And then the realization. What if I change the whole point of that storyline?

To make clear:

We have storyline A which is set in the present. But this is actually an offshoot of time alteration in the past, so it is in a sense a separate reality from the rest of the story.

Storyline B is the main line in the piece and it will cease to exist when said time alteration takes place. But this is the most interesting part of the story, or at least the most thrilling and engaging. Storyline B was the weak point in the plot though because, as I said, it was very dark and murky to me.

Storyline C is the time alteration thread, which is a story in itself.

These three storylines play off each other and feed the plot in their own way. When explaining this script to friends, I say that it is "Seven if Phillip K. Dick wrote it" and I still stand by that. But now I'm also bringing a unique strain of Charlie Kaufman into the mix. What I discovered was storyline D. Storyline D is a continuation of Storyline B that runs in tandem with storyline C. It redefines the perception of a character and you get a sense not just of what his purpose is (that's already described in storyline B), but what he would do if given the chance to change things. And you find his loyalties lie elsewhere. What I really like about it is that the character is forced to make the choice between the past he's revisiting and the goal of his life and career. That is the conflict of a good story. More than all this, it adds an entirely new dimension and pathos to the piece.

On top of all this, I've just introduced the conflict that drives storyline A. I still need to do more on storyline C. As I've said to everyone from the beginning, this is a complex story. To give you an idea, it's along the lines of Traffic and Syriana: Really complicated, rich, and intellectually challenging material. I have few fears of a viewer not understanding the story, but it's a hell of a juggling act getting this to hang together as I write it. I'm about 50 pages into it and I expect to finish it within another 100 pages. That would make it a bit long for a movie, but then good movies are often forgiven for longer running times. If you like the idea of Phillip K. Dick/Charlie Kaufman writing Seven, then this is a movie you will definitely want to check out.

As an aside, here's the cast I'm picturing in my head for this (which really only makes sense to my friends right now):

Grays: Harvey Keitel (I'd also be interested to see James Woods in this role)
Nial: Johnny Depp
Terry: Ethan Suplee (My Name Is Earl; American History X; Blow)
Long: Robert Forster (Jackie Brown)
Beatrice: Grace Zabriskie (Twin Peaks; Seinfeld)
Vanessa: Alison Lohman (Matchstick Men)
Shep: Steve Reevis (Fargo)
Wayne: Ben Foster (Six Feet Under; X Men 3)
Suzie: Angela Bassett (What's Love Got to Do With It; Malcolm X; Strange Days)

You should really play ball, kid.

2006-09-19T13:43:00.000-04:00

You write because you get an idea when you're not writing and it makes everything fall in place and you smile all day without even putting a word on the page yet.

Because.

2006-09-17T06:57:00.000-04:00

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For 9/11.

2006-09-11T20:15:00.000-04:00

I guess this is the day when my presentation means more than on any other day. So here it is:

Empire.

I don't like a kebab.

2006-09-10T23:19:00.000-04:00

I started a new screenplay. Wrote 19 pages today. Calling it quits for the night.

This is a time for cougars, Lewis.

2006-09-09T20:09:00.000-04:00

I finished the third draft of Collecting the Corners today. It's awfully lean and polished from start to finish, and I'm somewhat amazed by that. I've always been a fast learner but I'm taking to screenwriting very quickly. I'm proud of it and think it's a good offbeat higher-concept script. I also like that there are more layers than Separate, so I accomplished the goal of improving over the first one. I'm also proud of the characters and am happy that their personalities guide much of the plot. But I'm sure you readers are bored with cryptic words about projects you can't see, so I'll talk about writing a bit.

I think my writing career to this point can be divided into three eras. I want to make it clear that I am not in any way passing judgement on the methods I am about to catalog.

I started in January, 2000, with a novel that was inspired by American Psycho. (And expect to see that sorry excuse for a novel resurrected sometime in the future, in a way that you really wouldn't expect to see it done.) For the next four years, I wrote with purpose but no planning. I had only vague ideas about where any of my plots were going and I mostly sat down and just typed. My instinct at this time was to dazzle with the prose, charm with perverse humor and dark satire, and to always keep moving. I think I improved my techniques very quickly but that was all I had in my favor at the time: My techniques. Some people write great fiction in this manner. I imagine that Irvine Welsh uses it a lot, as does Denis Johnson. What tips me off is that they tend to write episodic story fragments that play out like jazz (ie, free-spirited, a bit of crazy mixed with virtuoso brilliance, and a sense that the unexpected is always leading you forward).

The second era was spurred by reading Tom Robbins' Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates. In that first era, I was very much attracted to inventive and captivating narratives. By contrast, Robbins' work is playfully witty but not strictly defined by the prose. Here was a very complex and multifacited story told in minimalist style. This opened a whole new world to me. I began conceiving interconnected works that were dense with story ideas and very complex plots. It also made me see how characters fit into a story and, rather than explain that characters felt a certain way, I learned to explain why they felt that way and show their feelings through their actions. My writing not only clarified, it expanded to a bigger worldview. I began to plan not just a story but continuing stories that were linked by characters and events from each part.

Now I'm in the third era of my writing. I have found, much to my surprise, that I have become a humanist. I try to have unique plot elements but now I plug in enough interesting characters that they become moral tales, much like Arthur Miller did (yet owing very little to his writing style). And I now, almost without fail, outline clearly from start to finish before I tackle a project. This may be because I started writing my first screenplay about this time and, by their nature, screenplays require a good vision of the plot points before you start. What this has imprinted on my writing are some very agreeable attributes like the ability to foreshadow and the clear knowledge of what the piece's themes are.

Because of this, my writing style has definitely changed. I am grateful to that first era for teaching me the prerequisites of the craft. I am thankful to the second for making me aware of my power as a writer and for starting to shift me more towards characters. And the third is very rewarding because now I know how to combine good storytelling techniques with what I've learned before. I feel like a professional writer now, though I am still far from making a living at it. But I honestly feel it is just a matter of time before that happens (with the caveat that I really know how to survive on a shoestring). And I can't wait to see where my writing goes from here. Many people have asked me if I don't get to enjoy my work because I know the plot twists that are coming and other distractions as the creator. The truth is, and I think most writers would agree, I'm along for the ride as much as you are. I may be able to operate the gas and brake pedals and turn the steering wheel, but I'm also only able to see what the headlights reveal as we move.

I believe in an outer space...

2006-09-01T12:41:00.000-04:00

Rewriting and such. Definitely tons of it when I get Kaethe's notes (ETA sometime next week).

And a new script already in the works. Been outlining and researching and putting things together. Get ready to have your mindfucked and be thoroughly entertained, this is about the best writing I can do right now.

Yep.

2006-08-27T11:20:00.000-04:00

First draft of my second screenplay is now complete. I wrote it in about a month, started just a couple weeks after I finished the final draft of my first. How's that for wearing yourself out?

Some words about Nial.

2006-08-27T08:37:00.000-04:00

I have another writer capable of making posts on this blog and I hope he will utilize it more in the future. His name is Nial Giacomelli and he is one of the best friends I have ever had. And I would like to introduce Nial to the world.

Nial possesses, I believe, the primary traits of all the writers I respect. I think there is one large defining difference between my writing and his: I am always comfortable working within the voices of other writers, proving my skill through versatility as much as storytelling. Nial is distinctly his own voice, defiantly so at times. He is clearly an amalgamation of his influences (primarily the narrative techniques of Chuck Palahniuk, the plotting of Will Christopher Baer, and the demented humor of Irvine Welsh and Bret Easton Ellis). But he is also a singular voice in many ways.

When I first encountered Nial, I was somewhat impressed with his writing, but also a bit frustrated that this kid kept messaging me. I even avoided him the first couple weeks he attempted to contact me. He won me over because of our overlapping senses of humor. We sealed the friendship over one sleepless night where we talked writing for a few hours and then discussed our personal lives for the rest of the day. We were not fast friends but once we became accustomed to each other, we were friends very quickly. In this time, his charming quirks as an artist began to surface. He has started and abandoned over three thousand stories, he told me one time. He is enthusiastic about his work but was also quick to shrink from his responsibility if there was not a commensurate enthusiastic response. I identified a problem then that I think he still struggles with: Trusting his own instincts when it comes to a story. Yes, he will start a story savagely and attack it with gusto, but if I gave even a hesitant nod (it could be as simple as "That's pretty good"), he would drop the story and move on to something else.

I think Nial is overcoming this. Much like myself, he was very much a shadow of his reading habits at the time we met. Over time, I have watched him grow into his own person as an artist. He had trouble with dialogue and characters when he first began showing me his work. As a more experienced contemporary, I have coached Nial for quite a while now. And I'm so proud to say that is over with. There is nothing more I can teach Nial, I can barely even advise anymore. He attacked the dialogue and characters problem viciously, as he attacks most things in his writing, and now excels in those areas. We still talk often about writing and it is great to see that we are coming to agreements on the principles of the craft. I no longer feel like a mentor, I treat Nial as an equal.

His plots are unique and spellbinding. He has mastered the execution so well that, to paraphrase a saying, he could write the phonebook and make it interesting. He now has the keen sense of humor of AM Homes. He has the sense of the absurd of Tom Robbins. He has the narrative wit of Jay McInerney. He has the impressive plotting of Baer still, but Baer himself is a weird cobbling of Palahniuk's early work and Dashiel Hammett. He is, in short, at the top of the game as far as writing goes. I anticipate with total confidence that he will be rewarded with a steady admiration from critics, with a cult following among readers, and with enough book sales to charm publishers.

Nial is obsessive compulsive and a lot of his work, like most great art, is an attempt to reconcile his interior battles with the world he inhabits. But, and this is the most rewarding for me, Nial is equally powerful when writing pure, disconnected fiction as he is with his most personal work. I think he is still finding his feet, which is entirely natural. After all, what do you do when you train yourself so hard and then realize one day just how much power you wield? But he is also not the writer he was when we first met. He has surpassed that writer on every level, exponentially so.

I must admit that I may be biased in this assessment as Nial's writing, particularly his dialogue and the way he creates character dynamics, mirrors many of my own techniques. But, as I always strive to reach the pinnacle of my own heroes in fiction, this is the type of writing that appeals to me. Separately from that, our differences as writers have come to the forefront. Again, this pleases me. Because it shows that Nial is not a clone but rather an artist of considerable skill who is clearly finding his path. What I love about Nial's writing more than how it shares aspects of my own is these differences. Because in many ways, Nial shows up my own weak-points and inspires me to match his better qualities.

If there's one thing I had to pick as Nial's greatest attribute, it would be easy to point to his meticulous, almost Chandler-like plotting. Or his ability to place interesting dialogue in the mouth of even more interesting characters. It could even be the way he can go from terror to hilarity at the drop of a hat. But what really impresses me is that Nial pushes himself to improve things he is not good at. He moved into poetry and quickly became a unique voice in that medium. Now he has focused very much on playwriting and he is using his many strengths to great advantage already.

Nial is incredibly talented and I'd really love him to share more of his process on here. He has started his own website and is populating it with his work over time, though it's still fairly barren at this time. I will continue to encourage him to share his work on the internet as I know that positive response (which is almost guarantee'd with his skill) will help build that shaky self-confidence that thwarted him at the time we met. He is an artist growing and, even while still a teenager, he stands among the pillars of contemporary minimalism. He has a rare gift and I am glad I get to share the journey with him. And hopefully you will be along for the ride very soon.

They ate themselves.

2006-08-25T04:28:00.000-04:00

Did a pretty big edit on the screenplay tonight. Cut about fifteen pages and reworked some of the story. Added a montage and voiceover. Next time I need to work on the characters more, I'm not too sure they're that strong. I've said that writing a novel is like composing a symphony, and I'd have to say that writing a screenplay is like a complex math equation where all the variables have to add up to something. I think I'm doing better than I was on my first one, but this one can still use a lot of work. I took most of the week off from it and that helped me realign my guidance system. I'm only about 2/3 of the way through it right now, so there's plenty of room for me to pack with various plot points I had planned when I started. Still sort of trying to tie some of the loose ends together though. As a writer, I think there are times when you invent something just for some substance and then the weirdest thing happens: It starts to feel like an organic part of the story. It's happened to me at least once on every project I've undertaken but it's proving more difficult on this one. Maybe I'm overthinking it, probably am. I'm sure things will come together in time, that's how writing works. And if it doesn't get all neatly wrapped up, I guess I knock down my selling price and make it an art film, right?

Things seem to have worked out pretty good for the Dude and Walter.

2006-08-23T04:26:00.000-04:00

I had a sad reappraisal of this new script and I have to say: This can be much better. I knew I'd have to make a separate pass to punch up the humor, as it is essentially a comedy. But good lord, the structure! What a mess. Central conflict occuring in the fourth act, fuzzy characters, not to mention I haven't shown a lot of the stuff I expected to fill the story as I went along. In a lot of ways, I got myself bogged down in a narrow vision when the story lends itself much more to a daring and complex plot.

The good news is that I think I can fix this. I will be rewriting a lot this week, count on it.

Oh, you're really something.

2006-08-13T09:29:00.000-04:00

Another 12 pages written. Brings the total up to 61. 25 of those are just in the last two days. Wow. So what did I do?

Worked in a rather amusing joke, I think. Also a good anecdote. Defined the characters a bit more, as well as setting up later plot points.

Also added this really intense voiceover segment, that should have a lot of energy on screen, almost like Oliver Stone's work, or like a certain segment in Blow (you know the one). It's a bit expositional, almost painfully so in one sense, but it gives so much depth to the plot and should be an exhilirating moment in the film. Now that that stuff is out of the way, I can focus on bringing it together. I'll be starting the fourth of five acts next and, oh geez, this better gel in the end or I'm screwed.

I love this job.

2006-08-11T23:11:00.000-04:00

Wrote sixteen pages today. There was one character who had only sort of been introduced and I decided to go a different direction with him, so I went back and rewrote his first couple scenes. What I essentially did was take him from an actively antagonistic and sinister character and made him sort of amusingly passive-aggressive hostile force. It works better for a comedy and I'm definitely trying to lean more that way in this script. As a whole, it's got a sense of humor similar to a Coen brothers film, or even like Kubrick did with Dr. Strangelove, which is essentially taking a dramatic story and handling it as a comedy.

Aside from that work, I did another thirteen pages of new stuff, moving the plot very well, I think. The structure is holding together well but could probably be tightened a bit. The trick with writing like this is to have a trick up your sleeve for every scene so that you can always lead into the next plot point. I've also been foreshadowing a lot of what's going to happen. What I like about it is that the story itself is already engaging enough for you not to realize what may be coming later. I thought Separate, especially with the opening voiceover that laid out much of the story right before the climax, forecasted a lot of what was coming, as well as just being common sense. If you go to see a tragedy, you know it's not going to be happy towards the end. Such is screenwriting.

Yes, a new post that actually offers advice on writing.

2006-08-06T00:24:00.000-04:00

Moving from novels/short stories to plays or screenwriting, there are some things you have to make adjustments on. A big stumbling block is learning to tell a story without narration. Sure, you can have voiceover, but a lot of contemporary writing, particularly minimalist, has much of the style inherent in the voice of the narrator. In plays, this is impossible. In the film world, voiceover is generally expected to be kept to a minimum. (I remember some critic or other saying that the great movies can be understood if you remove the sound entirely. That is partly on the director's visual crew, but also part of a writer's challenge.)

If there's one thing that will sink your script right away, it's clumsy exposition. Actors generally hate exposition in dialogue, particularly if it is clumsy. Clumsy exposition includes lines like, "Thanks for the money, dad. I'm going to go see my sister now because I fear she's considering suicide." Imagine lines like this in your work. Not a pleasant thought, huh? Of course, someone has to give exposition at times in a script (though a well-engineered script will minimize this) and actors don't appreciate being the ones that do it. One solution is to comment on the expositional nature. If you watch the tv show Friends, they had a signature way to do this: They turned exposition into a joke. This is challenging, but if you've built good characters, you can use this tactic to great effect. I always enjoy complex and detailed characters, and that type lends itself to commentary on exposition. If there was one thing I would impress on all writers out there, it is to pay special attention to the characters and focus hard on making them worthwhile to the story. (Heck, look at Stephen King. His entire modus operandi is to invest so much in the characters that you get caught up in the story by proxy.)

Use your actors. Actors want screentime but they also don't want to be background trash. If you have scenes where a character just stands and watches for five pages (and he's not a butler), you're making a mistake. Take him out or get him involved in the scene.

I will mention Friends one more time, for one simple reason: The writers created defined characters and knew how to use them in their stories. If you'll notice, even the straightmen (Ross and Rachel certainly come to mind) had their own humorous side. You may not like the humor of this show (or just despise it for its popularity, in which case I pity your poor outlook), but you have to recognize how skillfully it was written. So when someone like Chandler was riffing on things and spewing his jokes, Ross was able to set him up and also offer his own laughs at the same time, while never being outright quipy like Chandler was. This is impressive to me and should be a goal for the novelist-turned-scriptwriter.

Another thing to consider is that a lot of the characterization of a novel is given in extended monologues from the narrator (even omniscient) about their past and how that shaped them. Be wary of monologues in a script. They're hard to memorize and just don't ring true for the most part (after all, how many people have you encountered that tend to just rant for a minute or two about some topic, blocking any attempt you make toward joining this discussion?) When writing a script, what I find effective is to map the character's backstory and then make allusions to the past and how it coincides with the present. Be subtle. Use any flashback-type info as a moment to explain the present in light of the past, and don't do it in a monologue if you can. (Personally, I'm finding the best monologue in a screenplay is through voiceover.)

Absolutely learn to simplify. You have to whittle the dialogue down until it is as tight as a snare drum. You need to have every single line add to the plot, the themes, and the intent of that scene. It can be hard and it's especially hard to switch from a format that encourages largesse.

Don't sacrifice a character for a joke. I almost did this at one point in a play and then reeled myself back in. What I'm saying is: You have to be true to who that character is, not just an arbitrary creative force to work in something funny. Catalog the joke and then find a place for it in another work. Remember: Your actors will get attached to their characters (particularly if they're complex and inherently worthy of love or hate) and they will argue with you over their understanding of the character. It is right that they do this, this is a representation of themselves that they're filtering out for the good of the work. You don't have to roll over for the actor every time, but definitely parse their comments to judge the merit of their feelings.

Cuz of the big nostril thing?

2006-08-03T22:03:00.000-04:00

Wrote another six pages tonight. A series of quick scenes, comedy centered. I'm trying to pick up the pace and also shift it more to the humor side of the spectrum. Am pretty pleased with today's work and am glad to continue to make progress.

You were scared, you were lonely.

2006-08-02T21:28:00.000-04:00

Have been working hard on the new screenplay today. I melded two scenes into one because there was a lot of repetitive information and such, so that cut the size down by two pages. Then I wrote 13 pages today. Mostly I had a big lack of faith in myself when introducing one of the main characters because he's a tricky one. He's overbearing and larger than life, but he's also crippled by fears and insecurities and his own eccentricities. I have just one more scene and then I'll be done with the second act. I figure the first two will clock in at around 33 pages combined. For a five act, that's pretty much right on schedule. It's hard to work with the structure of this because there is no central conflict in this story (even less so than my previous one). But I'm looking at this story the way the Coen brothers would, it's about adding layers of detail to the plot and letting the characters guide a lot of the action. That's really a technique I recommend to all writers on a regular basis, I just think it works so well and can turn something flimsy into something impressive (for example, look at McInerney's Bright Lights Big City or Bret Easton Ellis' first two novels; in the film world, I recommend Punch Drunk Love for this technique).

I've been smoking a lot today, which is always very enjoyable and very much tied to my writing. I don't know why, I just smoke a lot more when I'm writing. For now, I'm going to try to wrap up the second act tonight (this scene introduces a character that will not reappear but she helps define a character and add to the story at the same time). Once the pace of the story picked up, and it became a little more comedic, it just started pouring out of me. I'm glad I have the outline to guide me or else it's possible I would have stopped to try and get my bearings. So far, I've been faithful to all but one point on the outline, which is pretty good I think. And I haven't completely abandoned that idea, I'm just delaying it for later. This is, I hope, one of those scipts that sucks you in more and more as it progresses. I'm pretty happy with how it's looking right now and Nial remarked that this one is "very tight" and is about as polished as my previous was in third draft form. So I'm starting in a higher position of power with this story, which doesn't surprise me as I've always been a quick learner.

So surprised, she stares out from her display case.

2006-07-30T14:45:00.000-04:00

So I am, once again, completely finished with Separate. I did one more cosmetic pass on it, tightened some dialogue and added a couple scenes to give depth. Also inserted some voiceover pieces to tie up some loose ends. And, since it is registered with the Writer's Guild, I wouldn't mind letting some other people give it an honest critique. If you're at all interested in reading it, whether I know you or not, go ahead and send me an email at josh@beautifuldreamscompany.net and I'll be glad to send it along to you.

Or is it more honest? Or is it more sincere and natural?

2006-07-25T18:10:00.000-04:00

Okay. Cut the first scene I had. Deadweight that went on far too long and covered ground that I can cover better elsewhere. Took one of the key characters out of later scenes, introduced another character in his place. Rewrote the entire last half of what was left, improving it immensely. Know the themes to hit, know the intentions of each scene. Working very well on this and am more pleased with it now than I was before.

The consequences will be dire.

2006-07-22T22:07:00.000-04:00

Okay, work on the next screenplay has begun. I wrote fifteen pages today and might write more before the night is over. The outline I did before starting has helped so much, I basically just have to sit down and write each scene. I know the intention of each scene and have the characters formed in my head. This screenplay is, in every way so far, better than my first. The characters are more interesting and complex, the story is layered and full, there is so much going on. I also feel free to write a bit broader because the length can be longer. Still trying to walk that line between comedy and drama, much like the Coen brothers do, and as Charlie Kaufman did in Adaptation. This is shaping up very well so far and I'm quite excited to be working on.

As an aside, I had not written any fiction since I finished the final draft of Separate. That was July 4th. Oddly, that's the longest I've gone without writing in the past year. It feels good to be working again.

Yes, this is one of those cryptic posts that leave you guessing.

2006-07-14T17:25:00.000-04:00

I have big news but I'm going to keep it back until things are all set because too often I've spouted off about an opportunity that knocked and then it ran away. So just sit tight and hope that I have good news to report, I have a feeling I will.

Stop, men! Don't you love your country?

2006-07-13T15:52:00.000-04:00

Nial and I are going to collaborate on our first project. It's a film, sort of. If it plays right, it should seem like a documentary, but actually everything will be scripted. (And no, it's not a mockumentary or anything of the sort.) It will be somewhere between The Vagina Monologues and Neil Labute's three part play, Bash. We'll both write independent monologues for it and then trade our work and the other person will edit and rewrite. We're probably going to come to trans-Atlantic blows over this, but you can do that with your best friends.

And Jeff, you WILL be editing this bastard for us.

Nobody's Watching.

2006-07-04T17:50:00.000-04:00

This is really interesting. Some of the writers from Scrubs and Family Guy got a pilot produced by the WB but it was never released. So they've cast off on their own to see if they can produce funding by sharing their work on Youtube. This is sort of DIY that happens to have been funded by a network, a network that lost its courage when it came time to show the damn thing. I think this aggressive remarketing and taking charge of your own fate should start applying to literature as well. God knows we have trouble trusting publishers to find the gems out there. So here you are, enjoy.

He kept me up all night with his constant thinking.

2006-07-04T16:13:00.000-04:00

I finished the fourth (and what I consider to be the final) draft of the screenplay. Let the arguing ensue.

I must have died alone a long, long time ago.

2006-07-03T22:47:00.000-04:00

It is important when writing, particularly in rewriting, to not wear yourself out to the point where you lose the plot. I'm trying not to.

That was just a movie!

2006-07-02T22:44:00.000-04:00

Kaethe's notes mean lots of rewriting. Have set up recurring motifs that will fuel the second act climax. Have furthered the timeline so it makes more sense (just a montage and voiceover for this, but I think it works well). Added a two part scene to add a link between two extremes. This lengthens the first act in a way, but I think it's for the best. Script is coming in a few pages longer than I'd like right now, but I plan to be paring down dialogue more, so that should help.

Second act: Pared down a lot of dialogue in one scene, there was some serious deadweight there. Will be going through this more thoroughly in a bit, I just need a break right now.

Have a disagreement with Kaethe over a couple of plot points. I think the things that happen outside the community shouldn't be explored too much, or explained for the most part. For one pivotal point, I want to not explain it at all. To me, that plot point is important for its effect, not as a story point. The second, well I offer two differing explanations for that incident and I like that they conflict and you don't know which is real. It's good to be ambiguous sometimes. Also, I think it is part of the nature of the thing: What happens outside the community does not get the detail that you get inside the community.

I have a plan to do a lot more random voiceover throughout the piece, just little bits here and there. I already know two small pieces I want to add.

So, yes, guys, I am back to working on this and I'll be continuing to chronicle my adventures in screenwriting.

We're like loan sharks.

2006-07-02T14:21:00.000-04:00

Added a short story to the Searching collection on my site. It's been kicking around for a while and I just never got around to adding it. It can be found here.

Chop chop!

2006-06-30T20:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, I addded a TON of short stories from the Wooden Heart in a Steel Chest failed novel. They can be found here.

Pop it! Pop it! Hot potato!

2006-06-30T17:25:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry that the updates have been very lacking around here. The simple truth is that I'm finetuning my first screenplay and researching my next. In other words, there's nothing really to report. I've been focusing some energy on slam poetry, but again, not much to say on that front. I keep trying to come up with topics to discuss but not much is coming to mind. I'm feeling a bit disconnected from writing right now because I'm not actually writing right now. Have no fear, I'll find some stuff to discuss soon and, if not that, begin writing again so that I can at least talk about that.

I was sort of hoping when I get into a rut like this and have little to discuss that Nial would step up and talk about his own writing. So...Nial? You out there?

Slam poetry for anyone interested.

2006-06-27T00:06:00.000-04:00

Just finished some new slam poetry. I actually will get up there and perform this shit someday, you wait and see. Anyway, this is about the best I can do right now, so I thought I'd go ahead and point it out to anyone interested:

Apologizing for Everything I Never Did Wrong

Sold to the being of unbelievable horror!

2006-06-21T22:39:00.000-04:00

Got a book from the library today for the final research on the next screenplay. That's about it. I need to read it and then I can start writing. Not much else to say.

Let it go... I can let it go...

2006-06-15T19:38:00.000-04:00

Pending notes from Kaethe (as well as a few screenwriters I know), I am ending work on my first screenplay (title now changed to Separate). You know what that means. That's right. I'm beginning my next screenplay. Never one to give in to success or failure, I am always eager to pursue my next project and I could wait no more.

This new one is called Collecting the Corners and it is a comedy. It's about a prep school student that takes a job as the personal assistant to one of the wealthiest men in the world. And all the conspiracy theories are true (now you understand my recent obsession with conspiracies and why it has fueled my reading list the last few months). I have a good story worked out, I think, and am developing the characters. I'm watching some other movies for research (as far as tone and execution) and am altogether excited about this project. I began the outline tonight and it will be structured as a five act piece. I'm about to the end of the second act on the outline and may even write the first few scenes tonight.

A reply to Nial's first post.

2006-06-13T05:02:00.000-04:00

Nial, you've got to realize that poetry, due to its inconsequetial status in the publishing world, is generally regarded as vanity publishing for even the big boys. Consider what some of the bestselling modern poetry books are. They include the likes of Jewel (a pop star with a built in audience). The content of her poetry is nearly laughable to me (and it's not just personal taste, witness Kurt Loder's infamous trashing of her improper use of the word casualty), but she sold big and was published only because she happens to be Jewel and the audience was waiting for the book. And even at that, I'd be surprised if she sold more than 100k copies of that book.

In fact, most of the best current poets (I'd count Jim Carroll, Robert Pinsky, and Jeffrey McDaniel in that list) are practically unknown to anyone outside the poetry world. Shit, look at Paris Hilton before Simple Life: She was known for being famous. There's obviously a wide gulf between pop culture and the arts and I think that example shows it in a rather harsh light. Poetry is not a line of work to get into as there are only so many slots for a Saul Williams in the music world, just as there are only a handful of Poet Laureates at any given time. Simply put, don't write poetry expecting to make a living doing so. That is why poetry is, to me anyway, a most personal artform because it is practically inherent that you can not sell out as there is no real money in the industry for it. At least none in our current society, even Dorothy Parker died near poverty but sells many volumes today.

I do have to agree with you wholeheartedly that there is a dearth of terrible poetry out there that detracts greatly from the quality stuff. I once posted a lot of my writing on an open forum website at the urging of a friend. I never took it seriously (I was awarded an exemplary rating on every single piece, even things I had dashed off in a few minutes and felt ambivalent about, at best) but many people there did. And it was exactly what you expect to find on an internet open forum for writers: A great circle jerk with no intelligent commentary. People are, particularly with artwork, not likely to be too critical of it. I think this is partly because people want to, on one hand, encourage another (even a stranger) in the pursuit of self-expression. And I commend that, though I disagree with it. It is also taught to us throughout our life that we are to be polite and accomodating, particularly when someone takes a risk like writing a poem and sharing it. Also, there is the circlejer aspect: People will say something nice about your work so that you will return the favor. I find this practice, which flourishes so profusely on the internet, to be entirely detrimental to what should be the goal of art: To create something for others to learn what is inside you.

The tricky thing about poetry is that it is very easy to write and extremely difficult to write well. I am a poet, just as anyone else that writes poetry is, but I would never consider myself a great poet. It is a personal thing for me, just a way of trying to make sense of what is in my head. And I think I do better than most at it, but that does not change that it is not the quality that I strive for. But it serves its purpose, I feel a bit healed each time I manage to work out three or four lines in a three page poem that actually mean something to me. And were I to take the praise of the circlejerk crew to heart, as many on the internet do, I would surely do as many of them: Bully my work into the sight of others at every opportunity, inculcated as I would be in the confidence that I am GREAT AT THIS BECAUSE EVERYONE SAYS I AM. I think a lot of the aspiring poets out there that are lacking the skill that deserves praise are fed on this false praise and are sometimes even quite skilled technically as it is something they have studied and patterned their work after the greats. And that's fine, I understand that. But I am not one to feed their ego and humor the fool, I will harshly express my own reactions to what I consider the dishwatery sentimentality, the hoary old metaphors, the redundant and unimpressive themes that proliferate in the online poetry world. (Seriously, you're going to compare love to a flower growing in a crack in the sidewalk? How novel. How utterly unique.)

But I think there's nothing to be done. I think as long as the vast majority participates in the circlejerk (Can you blame them? It's nice to get compliments for your work), the vast majority will continue to plow the unoriginal ground of mediocrity while continuing under the misconception that their work is great. And harsh critics like myself, and possibly you too Nial, will be written off as jaded cynics with unrealistic beliefs about our personal taste in poetry. I think this applies to all artwork on the net but because, as I pointed out, poetry is seen as easy to write, it is the medium that gets the largest share of this phenomena. My solution is to ignore the poetry of others and often my own. I share it on my site for anyone that wants to read, I take the positive criticism about as seriously as I do the negative, and I only push it on friends that have expressed a real desire to see it on a constant basis. I think the most skilled in the artistic world are more likely to advance in the world and gain attention and, in the case of poets like Jewel, I just shake my head a little and agree to disagree about the quality of their work, because that's just personal taste anyway. Now, were I to be eagerly pursuing publication and recognition of my own work, I may have a more antagonistic attitude toward the likes of Jewel. But as it is, I find it best to not put myself in a position where an honest opinion will be asked of me.

I don't understand, this doesn't rhyme at all?

2006-06-13T02:48:00.000-04:00

Lately I’ve been writing a lot of poetry. It’s interesting how different the act of writing poetry is to any form of short or long fiction. Particularly when it comes to actually publishing your work for others to enjoy and appreciate. For one thing, poems are short. They’re in and out and take no less than two minutes to get through. Secondly, people seem to be able to manifest a greater sense of ‘meaning’ and ‘connection’ with poetry pieces. I think this is either down to some psychological link between poetry being the more emotional medium, or the simple fact that extended metaphors and messages are usually lost on a large number of people. There’s also the embarrassment factor with poetry (and all artwork, for that matter) where people will fail to capture any kind of message from a certain piece but say they found it incredible anyway. I think a number of artists actually acquire a fair amount of popularity in this way. It simply becomes popular to enjoy their work and people force themselves upon it.

The other thing that struck me as far as publishing is concerned, is the fact that poetry allows (and usually calls for) a far more self-governing drive. You can’t just dump a few poems on an agent and wait patiently for either a decline or an acceptance. A contract for publication will not fall into your lap. Getting to the stage where your poetry can be comprised in a single publication and then sold is largely based on a cumulative process. A parade of work spanning numerous publications that will result in an almost guaranteed audience. Whereas with a novel a publisher will often have to risk the chance of complete failure, poets must approach publication houses and say, ‘here are my fans, these are my words’.

Then there’s the sheer volume of unpublished poetry. It’s a mine-field and I think that, in many ways, amateur poets destroy it for people who actually deserve to see their work on paper. I don’t blame publishers for wanting to stay well clear.

I was killed.

2006-06-12T18:28:00.000-04:00

I got a new idea for a script. It will be my screenplay after next. The next one I'm just too far into (have been researching like crazy the last few weeks, as well as doing plot outlines). This one is mostly a comedy but with a dramatic base, I guess about the same way you can see it in Fargo or Alexander Payne's movies (Election; About Schmidt; Sideways). It's very much about conspiracies of all kinds, doing the right thing, and being sucked in by power. I think it will be a lot of fun but I have to step it up to a new level. Not too worried about that, I've done it with every novel and play I've written thusfar.

The new idea will show the horrible effects of a brutal rape on a relationship. It's obviously going to be a very painful and emotional drama and I hope that it will get recognized for its honest script. I've developed a lot of the plot already and am excited about it.

That's about all there is to report. Kaethe is digesting the latest draft of the script (which has undergone a title change as there are other projects with the title Rumspringa, apparently). Kaethe did ask me to register my script with the Writer's Guild, something I actually did after the first draft was finished. It still bears the old title and there have been some cosmetic changes to the script, but that doesn't bother me at all. What you have to understand is that it's not unusual for writers to write the same type of story, even the same general plot in some instances. That is not what you have to protect, you need the actual words on the page. If anyone were to take my script (which I have shown quite liberally since registering it, but with no worry of theft), they would have to extract the story and rewrite all the dialogue or they'll get sued. It's the words on the page, not the idea of the script. And I am confident that, even though other similar projects have gone nowhere, there is obviously some interest in this subject and my work is, I believe, a superlative entry on this front. The quality will sell it as much as the subject matter. I'm feeling very good about this script.

Now you may see some changes on this blog. At this point, I have really only talked about the process of writing. Gave tips, kept you updated on my progress on projects (particularly my first screenplay). But should this move forward to the point that I am pitching the script to studios, meeting with production companies, selling the script, rewriting on the set, and anything else that may come with the success of this project, I will chronicle that as well. I will continue to write, of course, and share that with you here. But I will also present what it is like to have your work performed, filmed, published, etc. (Speaking of things being published, I'll have some poetry in an online zine soon; not much of a credit but it was really a favor for a friend.)

There is nothing I would like more than to have you readers come with me on this journey. The site will split a bit between the act of writing and the act of following to completion. I hope that an inside view of each facet will be equally of interest.

That's as close to an apology as I'm going to get, isn't it?

2006-06-05T21:37:00.000-04:00

I was right. Second draft completed. Added one little bit that I really like a lot, just something that's so endearing. Hopefully it's not too obtuse to be noticed when it pays off. Cut about four pages off the total length, so obviously did a lot of culling spread through the pages. Think some of the characters are much more vibrant and real. Ending still the same, I know that's important to a lot of the people that have read the original script.

Feeling very happy with how this turned out. Am glad that I can work hard on this and get results. I really do feel like a professional now.

In the city of blinding lights.

2006-06-05T20:30:00.000-04:00

I'm going to make a wild prediction that I will finish the second draft of Rumspringa (the screenplay) tonight. I have already added a bit, deleted a bit. I want to add one more scene and a montage or two. Aside from that, the script is very near final form for this draft.

How often do you notice a man's shoes?

2006-06-03T22:00:00.000-04:00

Finished editing/rewriting in the first act for this draft. Some stuff might need a little more finetuning but I think it's much improved. May have another go at it later but for now I'm feeling good about the work I did today.

I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something.

2006-06-03T01:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, quite a bit of work done on the screenplay tonight. I excised the scene of Ezekiel and Zedediah talking before the singing. It was a bit esoteric, too preachy for Zed's character to stay sympathetic, and generally taking up space that could be better used. I replaced it with a voiceover from Ezekiel explaining the Amish courting rituals and the singing and then a scene of Vette and Zedediah talking, Zed pressuring her to officially consider him her boyfriend. I'm not sure I like exactly how that panned out, to be honest. I think I was somewhat adept at deflecting the question without killing Zed's hope but it could possibly be done better. I don't know, I'll run it past Kaethe and see if she approves of it. The other part of the scene that I like is that it's also a bit of Vette expressing that Chrystena likes Ezekiel, despite already having her own sort of boyfriend. I thought that particular part of the dialogue was done well, if the writer can say so himself.

So I did that tonight, a bit of editing here and there, good stuff, I think. There's obviously more work to be done but I'm glad I'm getting things done again.

They call it radio programming because that's just what it is.

2006-06-02T02:52:00.000-04:00

Finally broke my little block over the scene that had me stumped. The result is adequate, I guess, but I hope to go at it again possibly. It's better than what was there but I'm not too sure it's the best I can do. Regardless, I'm glad that I got through it so that I can continue plowing through the script. There is much work to be done.

All those heroes that I've heard, just paraphrasing words.

2006-05-31T02:29:00.000-04:00

I'm having some difficulty with rewriting. Maybe I'll be able to explain it someday. You know...after I figure out what the hell I'm doing here.

I'm dumb, Harry.

2006-05-27T00:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'd like to retract my statement that I am in any way finished with this script. No no no. You see, the problem is that I wrote this very much like I write a novel because I knew nothing else. In a novel, you can have the general story in line and have developed the characters, etc, but you're making up a lot of the plot as you go along. If you're lucky, you'll have an editor as good as Kaethe has been for me because they can steer you toward the path of actually CONNECTING everything you've written. I have so much rewriting to do that you could rightly say finishing the first draft was the halfway point of the process. As it stands, I love the ending and know that the last few pages will not change at all. So what needs to be changed (or already has been)? Let's see:

Rewrote:

First Zed and Ezekiel scene. Much needed and much improved. Now they seem like old friends rather than a sense of history now pulled asunder. It is important to have these characters as close friends in the beginning because that will pay off later.

Changed up the beats of the pace by separating into two scenes. Also rewrote quite a bit on the second part of said scene, altering the timeline of a relationship. I think this will still stand for more rewriting.

Edited the opening a bit, it needed better language. Add things, delete things, just make it better.

Needs work:

Scene I mentioned previously, will definitely need to be worked on some more.

The shooting. Going to rewrite this entirely.

Expand the singing, setting up new character levels and try to reflect the day's events.

Scene where Zed and Ezekiel discuss religion as they walk to the singing needs to be moved rewritten, moved elsewhere or cut altogether.

First scene at Spike's trailer. Definitely needs some rewriting. Show more, don't muddy it up with dialogue. Maybe add a scene before that scene where Ezekiel explains to Vette about Spike? Definitely worth some thinking.

The love scene. Will have to work on this for sure. There's some great dialogue that can be salvaged, but still needs work.

******

Keep in mind, that's just what needs work in the first act. Like I said, I feel like I'm starting all over here. My work was sloppy, not entirely planned, and often redundant and too weighty in the first act. Second act was better. Third act was, in my mind, near pristine, minus some plot points that need to be worked on a bit more. By the midpoint of the second act, I had really gotten into my groove and realized how I was telling the story. I think every writer knows what that means, it's that moment when things click for you and it serves the story the most. The third act is a true reflection of that and that's why I think I can leave much of that untouched.

I'll be working hard on this for the weekend and probably much of next week. Kaethe thanked me for my perseverence and dilligence in how I've approached the rewrites based on her critique and that kind of gave me a funny thought: Do many artists get an opportunity like this and then shoot themselves in the foot by being against outside input? It seems perfectly natural to me to take Kaethe's guidance as a matter of course and just do what serves the story best. Yet I have a feeling that a lot of artists are possibly not as accomodating. If there's nothing else an artist needs to succeed in this world, it is a sense of graciousness and an adaptability to the demands of their benefactors. Talent and perseverence are often cited as the two most necessary virtues, but I think there's much to be said for cooperation and professionalism in this field.